Help is a tiny four letter word that when carried out, has an enormous and lasting effect on others. Most of us are very willing to offer our help when we see a need that we can fill. However, when the reverse circumstances occur, often the most difficult words to say are, “I need help.” Why is it so difficult for us to ask for help, when we are so readily willing to give it? According to Jennifer Dukes Lee, author of It’s All Under Control, here are a few reasons why we tend to avoid asking for help: We would rather be the helper than the helped. Collaboration sounds like more trouble than it’s worth. Most of us feel like we can get the task(s) done faster and better if we just do it ourselves. At least then we’d know it was done (in our minds) correctly. We are afraid of being told “No.” No one likes to face rejection, especially after building up enough nerve to show your vulnerability or weakness to others. No one likes to feel needy, weak, or incompetent. Asking for help is a form of surrendering control. Let’s face it, we all like things done, “our way.” When we ask for help, we have to be willing to let things be done, “their way.” (Jennifer Dukes Lee, It's All Under Control, p. 169-170, (2018)) In reviewing the above stated reasons for avoiding asking for help, the common denominator that I see woven throughout each rational is a nasty five letter word: PRIDE. Proverbs 16:18 states, “ Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.” When we refuse to ask for help when we need it, our haughty spirits are rearing their ugly heads. This causes us to be stuck in a state of exhaustion, irritability and being overwhelmed. Contrary to popular belief, when you ask for help, you are revealing your strength to admit that you can’t face your problems on your own. According to Lee, “When you say, ‘I need help,” you’re not uttering feeble words. They may be the strongest, bravest words you ever say.” (Lee, p. 175) So asking for help is actually a sign of strength, not weakness. When you help others, you receive an internal sense of joy and happiness that comes from blessing someone else in need. When you refuse to ask for much needed help, you are robbing others of that joy and blessing. I constantly have to remind my husband of this concept. He is always the first one to offer help to others when there is a need. Over the 30 years we have been married, we have helped many with physical, financial and spiritual needs, often to the point of arguing with the person who needs help. My husband will often say, “Don’t rob me of my blessing of being able to help you.” Yet, he is the very LAST person to ask for help when we need it. He will use excuses like, “We’ve got this,” “I don’t want to be a burden to others” and “It’s easier if I do it myself.” It is very strange how double standards come into play when PRIDE rears its ugly head! You might be the “helper” and see someone who needs help, but doesn’t know how to ask for it. Just show up and meet any need that you see. It may be as simple as taking a meal to them, or showing up and shoveling their driveway or scrubbing their toilets. It could be more committed help like toting their children to and from school for an extended period, taking someone to their medical appointments, or administrative help with their business. Whatever it may be, ask for discernment to see if there is a need and meet if you can. Years ago, we were in a terrible car accident. My husband has a broken hip and shattered hand. I broke my back. Our kids were elementary and middle school aged at the time. Thankfully, the most serious injury for them was my son’s broken foot and ankle. Long story short, we were a broken family that needed help. I was so overwhelmed, that I didn't even know where to begin to ask. My sister came to stay with us for a week, and got on the phone with some of my friends. Immediately, my MOPS group started a meal train for us. They fed my family for two months! I had a friend that showed up unannounced with bathroom cleaners in hand and said, “I am here to clean your bathrooms because I know that you can’t.” We had neighbors that came over and shoveled the driveway when it snowed because they knew we were too broken to do it. The list goes on and on. In short, if you want to be a helper, just show up. The rest will work itself out. Remember, when we help others, we are not only meeting a need, but we are giving them hope, encouragement, and showing them love. We all need a bit of this everyday in our lives.

Spring is in the air. Traditionally, spring represents a new beginning. The barren-deadness of the winter is passing, and the earth is showing signs of new blossoms and growth. This year, the new beginnings of spring provides even more hope. 2020 was a very difficult, “wintery” year for most of us. Small businesses were closing, people were isolated from their loved ones, many lost their jobs, riots were burning down cities, and division ran rampant throughout our country. A “new beginning” is something that we all needed entering into 2021. COVID-19 mandates infiltrated and cast a black cloud over the world in 2020. When doing the research on COVID-19, it appears that fear was more of a motivating force driving the mandates than science. COVID-19 is 99% survivable for most of the population. While COVID-19 was a very nasty flu that unfortunately took the lives of many, the overall death toll in 2020 was no greater than 2019, or 2018. There was also no reasonable “logic” behind the mandates. Airlines cannot serve coffee or hot drinks due to COVID, but they can fill every seat on a flight. People were forbidden to eat at restaurants, but masses could still shop at Costco. Are these facts reason enough to “quarantine” healthy people and shutdown the whole world? Both “science” and logic seem to be saying “No.” The harm caused by the COVID mandates outweighed any potential benefits. Families were forbidden to gather if they did not live under the same roof. Churches were closed. Singing was forbidden. Children were not going to school. People were not going to work. Everything was remote and isolated. Neighbors were encouraged to “turn in” their neighbors for non-compliance. I actually saw commercials on TV encouraging people to call the police if they had reasonable suspicion that their neighbors had too many people in their home at Thanksgiving! Divisiveness and depression was at an all time high at the end of 2020. Fast forward to the end of the first quarter in 2021, the outlook is promising. COVID numbers miraculously (or suspiciously) dropped after the January Presidential Inauguration. Businesses are re-opening. Families and loved ones began to spend time together in person again. Kids started going back to school, and certain states began to lift the mask-mandates. The COVID debate could go on forever, and in the end, would only create more division. Now is the time to focus on hope and unity. The battle for hope begins with your mind. I choose to focus on scripture that will guard my heart and my mind, and keep my focus positive. A positive outlook and an “attitude of gratitude” can make all the difference in the world. Perhaps experiencing the loss of 2020, will help us appreciate all that we truly do have. We need to as the apostle Paul states, “forget those things which are behind, and reach forward to those things which are ahead.” Encouraging Scriptures to consider: 2 Timothy 1:7 - “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of LOVE and of a sound mind.” Proverbs 25:11- “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Philippians 2: 4- “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 4:6-8 - “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus…. Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy- meditate on these things.”